Relational Evangelism: Witness through "Withness"
by Arlene Inouye

"We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ." I John 1:3

About a year ago someone asked me if I knew how to make a Christian feel guilty in less than a minute. I replied that I didn't. He told me, "Simply inquire about the state of their prayer life, letter writing and witnessing." I laughed. But not so much because I thought his statement was funny, but because I knew it was true. Especially the part about witnessing.

Personally, I have always had difficulty even with the word. It's often associated with passing out tracts in public, giving a personal testimony to strangers, and door-to-door evangelism. And as a Japanese person, my culture predisposes me to feel very uncomfortable with such evangelistic methods.

Japanese are known for their indirectness, their "private selves," their unwillingness to risk offending others. Traditional methods seem to fly in the face of these characteristics. Yet, not doing very much "evangelism" as I have been exposed to it has made me feel guilty. And doing it and feeling so uncomfortable with it has made me feel inadequate.

But over the past few years, the Lord has been showing me that while direct and impersonal methods are valid and effective for many people, other approaches do exist. There are equally valid, biblically sound ways to share my faith that are more consistent with who I am. And perhaps even more consistent with who Jesus is.

One of these approaches centers around the concept of "withness," withness with Jesus, with other believers and with non-Christians. Withness with Jesus involves spending consistent quality time with him. Withness with other believers has to do with corporate life within the church. And withness with non-Christians focuses on developing relationship outside the body. Witness through withness involves spending consistent quality time with others for the very purpose of allowing them to discover Jesus as he shows himself through us. Our withness with Jesus and fellow believers enables us to witness effectively.

The idea of withness should be familiar to us. We all know what happens when we associate closely over time with someone we care for, love and respect. For one thing, we become like them and are identified with them. Our names are associated with them. And we're pleased about that.

Also, these close relationships over time enable us to learn the habits and values of the other person. They often become our own. By spending time with someone else, we learn how to do things the way that they do. The way I entertain guests in my home, for example, is patterned after my mother.

Lastly, we find ourselves focusing our attention on these significant relationships. They are high priority. We make time for them.

Now think about Jesus and his relationships with his disciples. They were able to carry out his commission because they had been with him. Mark 3:14 records how Jesus appointed the Twelve, designating them apostles. For what reason? So that "they might be with him." He spent three years investing in their lives. They learned how to do things the way he did.

Jesus provided a model for his disciples. Look at how many believers are in the world because of them. They made disciples, they were successful at evangelism, because Jesus showed them how. He made it a point to live and pray and worship and recreate with them. In Luke 22:56, when Jesus was taken to the home of the high priest the night he was betrayed, the servant girl in the courtyard said to Peter, "This man was with Jesus." Their close association with one another was well known.

The disciples were converted and became committed to Jesus because he imparted himself to each one. And they were able to make other disciples because they had been discipled by the Master. They witnessed effectively because they patterned their lives after his.

So what does all this mean for us today? I think several things. It goes without saying that we need to consistently spend time with Jesus. We should guard our time of prayer, worship, meditation and the reading of his Word. If we are not with him, we won't become like him. And our effectiveness as his witnesses is based on how much we are like him. We are meant to represent Christ to those in our midst. When we are discipled by the Master, we grow toward likeness in his image.

Discipling by the Master is both an individual and corporate experience. We must remember that when Jesus calls individuals, he calls them not just to himself, but to a new community of God's people, referred to as the church. He called the Twelve to share their lives not only with him, but with each other. From their relationships, they learned interdependence, how to share one another's burdens and gain insight from each other's strengths. From the beginning, God called people to live in community.

As a community, the church is to provide a supportive environment like that of a family, in which each believer can grow toward maturity. The believer is socialized into the Christian life through contact with those who model Christlike values, characteristics, and the essence of the faith. In other words, the church is to be the primary context for discipling.

Since disciples of Jesus are to become like their Master, it is important that they have a variety of people to disciple them. No one person possesses all the qualities of Christ. We each reflect only a part of him. But in Christian community, we are exposed to those who together give us a more complete picture of Christlikeness. Corporately, we reflect the fullness of God.

The community, by virtue of its relational nature, instills in us the value of withness, being with Jesus and with one another. We learn that growth occurs through being involved in the lives of fellow believers. We learn that both types of withness are essential to the proper functioning of Christ's body, the church.

The Book of Acts records that the early church held all things in common. They prayed, worshiped, worked and witnessed together. Unity in love was their mark. They took seriously what Jesus had said: "All men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:35). God's love among God's people is still what makes the gospel of Christ believable.

If love for one another is what makes the unsaved world believe, then the role the Christian community plays in corporate witness should be evident. As those in the church experience withness with Jesus and with one another, they come to more and more reflect Christ's image. Their love, God's love, naturally overflows to those outside their community. They give others a taste of what withness with them and God means. They witness through withness (I John 1:3). They evangelize. They fulfill the Great Commission because they are attaining to the whole measure of Christ (Eph 4:13). Evangelism and discipleship, witness and withness, are that closely related.

As a relational process, witness through withness takes time. But in God's economy, it is the most efficient. It produces fruit that lasts. The task is not simply to get people to make decisions. Rather, we are called to "make disciples." Other methods of witnessing may produce quicker results, but they often end up being short term. Investing in people's lives long term represents more what Jesus taught.

And I think that such witness through withness is very culturally appropriate. We all know how relational the Japanese are and how reserved they tend to be with regard to their feelings and sharing at deeper levels. A study by Barnlund (1975) showed that unlike Americans, the Japanese in Japan will discuss very few topics with people other than close friends and their own mothers. The topic of religion is not often discussed and rarely with strangers and untrusted acquaintances.

While the Japanese here in the United States may be more open to religious topics because of their assimilation to Western culture, the same tendency to shy away from religious matters still exists. It is evident in those of us Japanese who have difficulty witnessing to others outside the context of a well developed relationship.

The model of witness through withness that has been described here is not new nor is it meant to replace other ones. At some point in a relationship with a non-Christian we need to ask if the person wants to ask Jesus into his or her life. Then maybe a tract, evangelistic meeting or church service may be appropriate. Remaining only friends without giving them opportunities to respond personally to the gospel is not witnessing . That's called withness without witness.

Our ultimate goal is to fulfill the purpose for which we were designed, which is to know God and be like him. And we know what he is like because he has given us his Son, who is the very image of God. As we grow in conformity to God's image, we more accurately represent Christ to those who have yet to believe.

Such conformity to God's image may seem overwhelming, but the Lord himself promises his presence. Remember what the end part of the Great Commission says?: "...lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Not only are we to be with Jesus, but he promises to be with us. As we experience withness with him and with our brothers and sisters, we are able to be with others in more meaningful and effective ways, and our witness in and to the world can grow and bear much fruit.

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